Dilemma

I don't know if i should offer my help this time around. I was thinking for the past few days, if i were to help, then i will be manipulated again and again and again. But if i don't help, i will feel bad. This is me. I can't do much. I obtained few advices and all of them told me the same thing-that this kind of people does not deserve to be helped.

The issue here is, i always offer my help when something went wrong. I won't say i exist to solve all problems, but i could say much of the problems. Having the knowledge in solving these kind of 'peanut' problems, of course we feel nice if we could help. But what if the person requiring your help (in this case we call the person 'A') most of the time, if not always, making you feel bad about her. For instance :

1) You don't get a share of what's good. Eg : party or get together
2) 'A' is so helpless when you needed help
3) When most of the time we always give and getting nothing in return
4) All these while 'A' has got some bad perspective on you, meaning if 'A' don't like you, forever 'A' will have a bad impression on you, be it really not your fault. It's 'A' mindset that you are a bad person.
5) When at times 'A' thinks she is extremely smart and have a motive with some other comrades to destroy your career.
6) 'A' does not want to listen to you as 'A' thinks that you are a problem maker. Listen to only one side.

So what's the reason why 'A' doesn't want to request for help from other people? Some possible reasons :

a) All these while i've been helping 'A' as 'A' thinks i've lots of contacts
b) 'A" thinks that i am easier to manipulate compared to comrades
c) All comrades are useless (NATO-No Actions, Talk Only)
d) 'A' afraid of being rejected by others
e) 'A' is ego on the outside but weak inside
f) 'A' has got very weak psychological state of mind and cannot accept failure
g) 'A" revenge on behalf of other people or becoming a spy for others
h) 'A' did mentioned before that if 'A' has a choice, she'll remove 2 person out from the team. I trust one of them is myself. What's there to lose if you are capable? Don't be afraid. Come out and talk. Right?
i) "A" likes to hear when i say i have relationship problem. Infact, i have no relationship problems. I just created them. 'A' psychology is so weak that even i created a story, 'A' can't differentiate the fake and the truth. And why is 'A' doing that? Very obvious, when 'A' attack me with those relationship issues, 'A' mind only have the word,'revenge' because there was one incident where she heard some arguments between myself and 'A' pet, and i was mentioning something about the pet's marriage disaster.

I do let people ill treated me, as long as i do not revenge. But it's a shame to have 7-8 brains to fight a single brain of mine. What a let down. And this game is getting better with some people planning to kick certain people out by creating stories. Well, only 'A' believes the fake stories.

I am willing to help even though many times i feel that i was not treated fairly. This is because i believe in karma. I do not curse. I believe that it will come back to either me or my family. I definitely won't curse anyone, even though i really hate them.

I truly believe in Buddha and has been a good follower in terms of all teachings. People who said something bad about me or trying to harm me do get their bad karma. I wouldn't want to mention name. Few examples : Ms X doesn't believe in me telling truth. Instead she believed in other people who created problem. So Ms X wouldn't want to talk to me for some time due to this reason. Worse still, Ms X advised others not to talk to me. Want to know what's the bad karma? Ms X experiences few major issues in less than a month after i was ill treated :
i) suffers personal belongings losses (direct karma)
ii)**deleted**

So, why must i help someone who
*DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME?
*DOESN'T LIKE ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?
*ALWAYS HAS NEGATIVE IMPRESSION ON ME?
*ALWAYS MANIPULATE ME FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHERS?
*ALWAYS FORGETS ME WHEN HAVING GOODTIMES?

It's not my policy to see poeple in trouble without helping them, but if you were me, having those mixed feelings of to help or not to help, i am sure you will change your mind too. Well, i am sure that 'A' will keep this whole thing in heart and will revenge in future. I expect some acts like : unwillingness to help and some mask wearing. If 'A' knows what's the definition of PERSONAL and WORK, then 'A" should not take revenge or show long face.

People are like that. To them ("A" and gang), they are always right. To us, we are always right. So if 'A' don't believe in our truth, we'll just have to wait for karma to happen.

Last but not least, i would like to share few lines with you :

To Understand Your Previous Life,
Look At What You Have In Your Present Life.
To Have A Preview Of Your Next Life,
Examine Your Daily Act In This Life.

Cheers for now.
ooili